I try it a second time for a few seconds longer.
Nothing. Well, Shit.
So I'm stuck in the middle of an automatic car wash with a dead car. I can't really leave it where it was (it's in the middle of the car wash and blocking shit). So, thinking about this for a bit, I figure I can maybe push the car out somewhere where they can jump it, or whatever. I get out, stepping in a large pile of soap suds, and start trying to push the car out of the car wash. It's working fine for a bit, but then after a few seconds of pushing, I realize something.
Oh no fucking way. The car wash had a ramp. The car was rolling back TOWARDS ME.
I guess the floor in there is all like wtf and is inclined on all sides so the soap goes in the drain. The ramp behind me caught the car though, so I was kinda able to 'rock' it out of the car wash with some effort. Have you ever TRIED pushing a 4000lb car, alone, uphill? It sucks. With so much fucking soap everywhere I thought that car was gonna fucking roll on top of ME and be all like "Fuck you bitch yo fucking DEAD".
That's pretty much it though, I pushed the car off to the side, and called my dad to come and jump it. I guess the battery was low in the car and no one told me, or knew about it, or whatever. Gay :\